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I'm mid thirties, two smallish children, one delightful husband, one car and one mortgage kinda lady. We left the big smoke some time ago and live in one of the most charming places in England.

Sunday, 26 February 2012

Party Etiquette

My policy on party invites for munckins is to rsvp immediately, otherwise I simply forget. Unless we are out of the county or country the munckins go. Youngest munckin is of the age when everyone in the class is invited, so they are very full on events. So imagine my surprise when having accepted one invite I received another for a different party on the same day at the same time.

I did the decent thing and phoned the Mother who had sent the last invite to let her know about the clash. Well she wasn't impressed and was borderline Churchillian in her stance that her daughters party was not moving. It was a party off!

Alas others take the same view as me, on the rsvp front and so she was left with only two children going to her daughters party. One of those was a Daddy rsvping when he hadn't checked with the Mother, so they had to pull as well, as the Mother had already rsvped to the first party. Are you following?

For Middle England this is a social quandary and a half. Confused by the fact that a Mother organising the first party had an rsvp positively from the Mother on the second party??

With less than 48 hours to go to the party explosion, the Mother who sent out the late invites caved. She went for same day but am not pm slot. For unconnected reasons we couldn't make this. But all the while a little person was having a party and no one was going to show. So youngest munckin and I bought a gift and surprised them by taking it round, outside of party time. The priceless look from the Dad said it all, as he opened the door to see my youngest with a present,  he presumed we had come to the party on the wrong day. I was tempted to leave youngest saying I'd be back in two hours, but I thought the confused party humour may be lost on them at this stage.

The lesson here is whatever the age, make sure everyone knows when the party is and check against class mates birthdays to avoid a clash. Eldest has a party over two months away, we have already had to circulate the date as it is prime Spring party season.

Are children's parties this political elsewhere, or is this middle england in overdrive?

PS> Quick Susise update - she told the 21yr old Father. He was not best pleased and told her to not tell anyone it was his. Now she can't tell her best friend/ his Mother.... is this better or worse? She keeps the friendship but with a massive lie.


  1. Hi I've just found your blog and this party stuff sounds oh-so-familiar!! My daughter is in a tiny school with a tiny amount of children, all of whom seen to have birthdays in the same fortnight in January! We did once have a joint party for 4 of them and invited the whole school!

  2. My children go to a school where a lot of the kids have a big fancy Bar/Bat mitzvah at 13. The parents of my 9 year old's Jewish friends are already discussing dates - 4 years ahead of time. They invite the whole year so there really can't be any clashes, but really...