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I'm mid thirties, two smallish children, one delightful husband, one car and one mortgage kinda lady. We left the big smoke some time ago and live in one of the most charming places in England.

Sunday, 26 February 2012

Party Etiquette

My policy on party invites for munckins is to rsvp immediately, otherwise I simply forget. Unless we are out of the county or country the munckins go. Youngest munckin is of the age when everyone in the class is invited, so they are very full on events. So imagine my surprise when having accepted one invite I received another for a different party on the same day at the same time.

I did the decent thing and phoned the Mother who had sent the last invite to let her know about the clash. Well she wasn't impressed and was borderline Churchillian in her stance that her daughters party was not moving. It was a party off!

Alas others take the same view as me, on the rsvp front and so she was left with only two children going to her daughters party. One of those was a Daddy rsvping when he hadn't checked with the Mother, so they had to pull as well, as the Mother had already rsvped to the first party. Are you following?

For Middle England this is a social quandary and a half. Confused by the fact that a Mother organising the first party had an rsvp positively from the Mother on the second party??

With less than 48 hours to go to the party explosion, the Mother who sent out the late invites caved. She went for same day but am not pm slot. For unconnected reasons we couldn't make this. But all the while a little person was having a party and no one was going to show. So youngest munckin and I bought a gift and surprised them by taking it round, outside of party time. The priceless look from the Dad said it all, as he opened the door to see my youngest with a present,  he presumed we had come to the party on the wrong day. I was tempted to leave youngest saying I'd be back in two hours, but I thought the confused party humour may be lost on them at this stage.

The lesson here is whatever the age, make sure everyone knows when the party is and check against class mates birthdays to avoid a clash. Eldest has a party over two months away, we have already had to circulate the date as it is prime Spring party season.

Are children's parties this political elsewhere, or is this middle england in overdrive?

PS> Quick Susise update - she told the 21yr old Father. He was not best pleased and told her to not tell anyone it was his. Now she can't tell her best friend/ his Mother.... is this better or worse? She keeps the friendship but with a massive lie.

Wednesday, 22 February 2012

Quick update on Susie's plight...

She told him, he said he wanted nothing to do with her or the baby and that he never wanted anyone to know that he was the father.

Should she have kept quiet?

Friday, 17 February 2012

Unplanned, unprepared and unknown...

True story...

My friend, for the purpose of writing here, we'll call her Susie, is pregnant - 10 weeks pregnant. It's her first child and the next bit reads like the script of Eastenders.

Susie has a best friend, who is a little older, but age has never been an issue and they hang out a lot together, they even work together . Boxing Day, Susie spent with her best friend and her best friend's family. Way past respectable bed time, Susie finds herself drinking the vodka with her best friends 21year old son. Trying to match a first year university student, she fails. But the evening picks up and they have fantastic drunken sex.

Next morning doesn't feel quite so fantastic and Susie makes a sharp exit, not before telling the son, she doesn't want to ever discuss it again and she'd like to pretend it never happened. Life is never, that easy, is it.

So ten weeks later and typically this pregnancy is going fantastically well. So, Susie is trying to do the right thing and tell the son, only she doesn't know if she has his right mobile number and she's left a message asking him to call her. However, he's probably just starting his friday night out so won't call now. If the mobile doesn't work, Susie has to resort to contact via Facebook.

The best friend has no idea. She thinks her friend Susie has a water infection and that is why she's not been out recently.

 I have a feeling a small corner of middle england, isn't going to be the same by the end of this weekend.

Ridiculously busy husbands advice, was to tell everyone it was a sperm donation, thereby not ruining a friendship or a young mans life. But Susie doesn't want to live with a lie...

Any top tips for Susie, we have spent the last hour roll playing the call to the young man. My top tip was don't mention the word baby or father and refer to the the situation as you being a 'little bit pregnant'. Any other advice will be passed on...

Wednesday, 18 January 2012

Marmalade, Marmalade...

personally I hate the stuff. But it is so satisfying and rewarding to make that this time of year I embrace it. The jars look so delightful with their orange interiors and it is so simple to make. The hardest part is carrying the Seville Oranges back from the market.

Aside from the inner orange glow I get from making it...I bother because it saves me having to remember to buy it for everyone else throughout the year. It's bad enough I have to buy mayonnaise and ketchup , two other products I don't like but that everyone else goes mad for in this house.

So if you want to achieve something this week...marmalade is the answer.

Tuesday, 3 January 2012

Goodbye Mr. Christmas Tree

Every year  I dread taking the Christmas tree down, I'm sure I'm not alone. It's so final, the fun is officially over. Nothing worse than seeing and then having to dodge the discarded corpses of trees littering pavements waiting for bin men. So we are thinking of starting a campaign to bring trees in at other times of the year. A potted apple tree at Easter or a small cherry blossom...no I don't see it catching on either.

At times over the last three weeks it was akin to running a guest house here. At best we had 2 hours between guests, at worst they over-lapped for lunch. Even the munckins started asking... when are we on our own again? But if you can't catch up with all and sundry at Christmas, when do you?

The top gift received by the eldest was her Swallows and Amazons dvd. It's totally charming, we now have numerous lists around the house written by the munckins, for the family pirate sailing adventure they want to go on. Typically I have already been labelled a Shipmate, whilst everyone else seems to be a Captain. Think we'll soon discover who really is the captain! Youngest thought that Santa eating a mince pie in her living room was amazing, well who can blame her.

What was the best thing your children had for Christmas or remember about Christmas?... Right...back to the tree.

Wednesday, 14 December 2011

Charity...faith and hope

I remember the days when if I wanted a new top I'd buy a new top. Or going out for dinner merited a quick nip round the shops in lunch to get the perfect outfit. If only I'd savoured the experience of clothes shopping a little more, as now it is only a memory.

Things had gotten a little pathetic, when recently, I started convincing myself that my maternity clothes could be worn... without a bump. Most people were too polite to say anything, but I did find skirts almost falling off mid morning in Tescos.

Still craving something different to wear, myself and a friend - a modern mother, have set ourselves a challenge. We need to create a whole outfit from local charity shops... excluding underwear, for obvious reasons. By mid Feb we need to have assembled the outfit and then we need to see who can get the first compliment.

So this weeks finds - shoes (£12 from a local charity shop) and a necklace my daughter bought in the school Christmas Bazaar. The necklace is fun, but the shoes are a real find, I am so excited they could pass for Tod's, it gives me faith I can complete this challenge, ( incidentally not Tod's!) You can imagine my reaction when I triumphantly showed them to overworked husband, hoping he would congratulate me on my expert shopping. However, upon learning they were from a charity shop he said,  'you can tell'.

Readers, I leave it to you to judge, watch for more wardrobe additions to follow.

Wednesday, 30 November 2011

Confused at MacDonalds.

Strike day, school shut and so it's a bonus day with munckins. Their greatest wish was a trip to the nearest Hobbycraft and then a MacDonalds visit. The latter being next door and visited once before post the craft emporium.

Eldest munckin suffers from opinion paralysis when choosing jam. HobbyCraft puts the jam decision into a new light. How can it seriously take 1 hour and 15 mins to spend £5 in the place. Youngest had it sussed in 10 mins. So I indulged eldest, we didn't have a better plan, overstressed husband had forbidden me from taking them to a strike demonstration. An hour in HobbyCraft, I could feel hairs on my head turning grey. We left with typically the first thing selected over an hour before.

But then we had MacDonalds. For whatever reason I've never been a lot, maybe 6 or 7 times in my whole life, so I am always a little scared as I forget the MacLanguage.

As we wait in line, the munckins are jumping about, trying to find a seat. I'm trying to understand what I need to order. The menu being printed overhead behind the counter, I have no clue. Why can't you pick up a laminated leaflet to read whilst in the queue. Anyway...

Unusually, a young lass without spots serves us, my memory is that all staff have acne. I look at the girl and say...'I have two children, (slight pause as I realise she is not interested).... can I have one burger  meal and one chicken meal.'
She replies: 'Happy Meal?'
I say: 'Thankyou' (not realising this was a question)
She repeats: 'Do you want a happy meal?'
I note the questionmark, and mumble a ...'yes', I then ask if I can have a cheese burger meal.
Then the drinks - what do you want to drink - no where do I know the choices, so eldest has an orange juice and youngest says..Smoothie. Amazingly they sell smoothies, so then eldest changes her order.
Young lass without spots looks at me and says: Drink?
...I opt for water, everyone must be able to serve water.
We pay and before I know whats happening, young lass without spots has got three boxes on a tray, with lunch.
I ordered a sodding Happy Meal for myself!
Well I couldn't say anything, by now the two gentlemen in high vis jackets behind me were no longer being charmed by my children or my ignorance.
Ordeal nearly over, but then we sit down and obviously being the nearest MacDonalds to middle england... we bump into another class parent. With the appropriately sized and boxed food for each member of the family.

Has anyone got a MacCrib sheet? Am I the only one?